My Yard's a Swamp and My Plants Are Sad—Help!

So last month I finally decided I'd transform my backyard into this cozy, relaxing space. Bought some nice outdoor lights and set up a watering schedule that seemed pretty foolproof. Well, turns out I didn't really factor in the weather or placement of things properly... half my plants are drowning and the other half look like they're auditioning for a horror movie. Plus, the lights either blind you completely or barely illuminate anything useful. Has anyone else had their yard makeover dreams turn into a soggy, poorly-lit nightmare?